Imperfectly Beautiful : Flirting with Depression

hola, hello, depression, overcoming, jesus,

Living an imperfectly beautiful life.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

This series is a spiritual life journey. The before and after of how I became a Christ follower. The 1st post which you can read here, talks about how easily we tend to blame God or others for life’s circumstances. In the 2nd post of this series I take you down memory lane in my early life sharing how disappointments can propel us into a negative & destructive life. You can read it here. Today’s post is about a season in life when I struggled with depression.

Since my youth I had a distorted view of success unfortunately, this understanding made me feel insignificant and less than enough. Sadly, the goals I set out for myself did not panned out. And feelings of defeat surrounded me everyday and carried me well into young adulthood. It was all negative and messy. I had no voice of reason that could talk me out of it. My destructive ways continued until I met my now husband. In an attempt to cover my “failure” I tried to fulfill a hole with a husband and a new family.

Life happens in seasons and during this time my life had plenty of beautiful moments but were shattered by a false illusion of success. The dream of going to college and building a career was still pressing my heart. But my young family and lifestyle made it hard to focus on that dream. My discouragement fueled a negative view of my world and I began to bully myself, criticizing my life and where I was. I started to resent my husband, my children, and myself for allowing my life to take this path.

I was focusing on my lack rather than the blessings before me. Lies began to flood my mind, I felt lonely, my expectations of life stirred me into a wilderness of depression and lack of self-love. My struggle with depression led me to seek more, I was searching for purpose and meaning, for hope. It was then that I found the love of Christ Jesus.

I soaked in His love, His promises and His grace. My broken heart allowed an opportunity to love and trust God. I found purpose and beauty in life. I no longer covet a distorted view of success. Instead, I immerse myself in my husbands love, my children are pleased with me, my parents & siblings see my faithfulness and I serve a community that desperately needs to know the love of Jesus.

I learned to reject an empty soul, I guard my heart and mind. I don’t let toxic people (including myself) drive me into depression. I am Renewed, I am learning to embrace my messy life and in every life season I am content with Jesus because He satisfies.

Today I want to encourage you to trade your brokenness for His brokenness and live wholly. Let God lead you in your lack and in His ways to everlasting. (Psalm 139:24)


Imperfectly Beautiful: Dealing with Disappointments.

Imperfectly Beautiful

Live Beautifully.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.  — John 10:10 (NIV)

Who doesn’t want to live life more abundantly, I mean is that even a fair question?!

For most people life gets so laser focused that we tend to miss the little things that make up our life.

Let me explain myself, I came to this beautiful country the great USA at the age of ten (10). During my traveling journey which took 3 days on a bus, all I heard was the opportunities that this country had for folks like me. Leaving a life behind for the “American Dream.”  So, in my ten year old head I felt invincible I knew that opportunity was knocking at my door. What I didn’t expected was coming here and not understanding one bit of the language that was spoken to me, I couldn’t be more different than everyone around me.

The image I had about life soon turned into a nightmare, I couldn’t communicate with my classmates and I didn’t even understand what the teacher was teaching me. But I didn’t let  that stop me from wanting to be successful, I learned the language and excelled in school until my ninth grade. That’s when things turned a different direction I started hanging out with a different crowd smoked my first cigarette (which I stole from my uncle) and found out about drugs. Still, I had dreams of success even in the midst of my careless youth I knew deep inside I was meant for greater things and I didn’t give up I continued with high school even though most of my friends were dropping out of school.

It was in 11th grade that I encounter a big disappointment one that would shake me to my core. As my counselor and teachers were encouraging me to follow through with college and even an army recruiter giving me big hopes for joining the military (which I wanted to do) it felt as all these opportunities are calling my name all I had to do is choose. So, I did I talked to my counselor and told her I wanted to join the Air Force. First, they tell me in different words I might not be smart enough but let’s put paperwork together and see how far you go. Well, paperwork … I hate paperwork! It was “papeles” (documents) that kept me from joining the military … see no one ever spoke about “papeles” (documents)! Sadly when I came home and asked for “papeles” like Social Security Number, ID, and the like I found out I had n o n e. Whaat!!!

Why don’t I have any “paperwork” well until this point no one took the time to explained to me that I was illegal. Such a disappointment! I was so sure of the outcome of my journey moving forward as an adult that I hit “that” wall pretty hard. I had no idea what to do with the fact that I was illegal, I didn’t even understand that term. Illegal immigrant what does that mean anyway! Well, friends life can truly drop a ball on you it did to me. How can I handle this disappointment and what do I do now?! Unfortunately, I didn’t know God then so my only escape from reality was party my life out until I couldn’t anymore.

Friend, if you are in a season of disappointment you don’t have to go at it alone, God is with you. I am with you, my encouragement and prayer for you today is that you will find rest and peace in God’s abounding grace.

And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. — 2 Corinthians 9:8

Turn to Him [Jesus] who is able to give you peace, God promise us to equip us with all that we need in order to do every good work. Work that pleases Him and will bring hope to others and peace to you. I pray that you will draw near to God an experience His amazing grace.

I will continue this Imperfectly Beautiful series … my prayer is that you will come back next month to continue the series with me.

Imperfectly Beautiful.

live beautiful

Living Imperfectly Beautiful!

He has made everything beautiful in its time.– Ecclesiastes 3:11

Over the past couple of weeks Life has been hard … I started the year full of dreams and hopes. But life took a wrong turn and I’m confronted with hopelessness, frustration, and despair.

My initial reaction is asking God why? I can easily blame God for so many mishaps, I can take my focus from the Lord, and try to search satisfaction in other things. Like binging on Netflix or Hulu, perhaps, having a few wine glasses/beer or even fight with my loved ones and decide that life sucks. My immediate reaction is to find someone else at fault for what’s going on in my life, its always easier to blame others including God.

However, God reminds me that life still goes on and my self-medicated approach will not cure my despair. Instead, I decide to read His promises and believe that

 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).  

Almost nine years ago I decided to make Jesus my Lord and Savior, today in the mist of my chaos I know that He is with me. Yes, my inclination when things don’t go my way is to blame Him and refuse to seek Him. But I have learned in my walk with God that my best defense towards life storms’ is to rely on God’s truth for my life. My confidence is in Christ alone, He will act on my behalf because I love Him and serve Him.

I live my life seeking to please Him, I am aware that troubles will come my way but I also know that there is nothing better than to experience God’s active presence in my life. I choose to be happy and enjoy life as long as I can. I choose to live a life that is beautiful even in the mist of trouble and chaos, God will bring peace even if I don’t see the entire picture of my life. I trust that the Lord is working in me as He is working in the situations that face me.

I believe He will continue to do great and miraculous things in my life and your life. All you and I need to do is Love Him with all our hearts, mind, soul, and strength, (Luke 10:27) and even in the mist of our imperfect lives, the Lord will make it beautiful again.

I would love to know what promises of God are so present in your life today? Share with me in the comments or social media. May the Lord continue His good work in us all…




A Brand New YEAR!

New Year 2017

Living with Purpose & starting the New Year with 21 days of Prayer.

Happy New Year 2017!

Hello friends I hope you had a fabulous Christmas season! I’m starting this year focusing on prayer and purpose for my life. Last week I shared on social media (here) a great post about choosing a word for the year. This year is my second year choosing  a word that guides my decisions throughout the year, if you haven’t yet I encourage you to jump into this wagon in 2017.

The best way to choose a word for you is to seek God’s guidance through prayer. Today is the third day of  my commitment to a 21 day of prayer. I joined my home church to have a daily conversation with God, it is in my opinion, the perfect way to start the New Year! Of course, as usual when you commit to the Lord the enemy is quick to push your buttons to discourage you from your commitment, and I was no exception. So, in order to stay motivated I have a beautiful prayer journal that was gifted to me on Christmas Day. It is beautiful and perfect to keep me inspired to continue my commitment. The Lord knows my desire to stay close to His presence and used my beautiful sister-in-law to gift me the perfect journal. I also love that she knows that my life is about living for God, she knew to pick the perfect gift to give me. Love her!

I pray that this year would be an amazing year for you, prepare your heart to hear from God and allow Him to guide your steps. Don’t lean on your own understanding but rather in every step acknowledge Him [Jesus] and He will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5) I want to use this platform to help you guide you into a deeper relationship with God, follow me on this blog and social media for more tips and inspiration on Faith.

The best way to start a relationship with God is talking to Him. The way I started was using a journal I used to write every thought in my mind whether it was happy, sad, or even anger. Its a great outlet to vent but most importantly to clear and heal your heart from hurt, discouragement, and disappointments. You don’t necessarily need a fancy journal like mine ; )  a good old notebook is just fine. The importance is not the tool but the habit of developing a prayer muscle. I’ll keep you posted on my 21 day of prayer journey, and if you have any questions or concerns reach out, I’m always on the other side of a message/email.

What goals and dreams do you have for this year, share with me in the comments! By the way my word and verse for the year is PURPOSE [Romans 8:28].

Finding Contentment. 4 tips to start loving your current life!

Love_my_current_Life-09-2017-45How in L O V E are you with your current life?!

Wow, how deep can this question be?!  As I meditate and reflect on all the years I wasted  longing for the next phase of life. My heart skips a beat and sorrow overwhelms me. However, I don’t need to continue to long for the next season of life when I can truly enjoy in abundance this one life am living.

What does it take to find contentment in the life your living? Learning to love my life as is means to discover the J O Y of little moments, humble beginnings, and growing in areas where am not naturally gifted. In my early years, I constantly awaited the next phase of my life when I got married I waited for my children, when I had my children I desperately wanted them to rush to the next phase … eating for themselves, crawl, walk, run and so on.

This constant yearning for what’s next in life, left me empty, broken, and living life half-heartily. This my dear friend is no way of living. We must learn to love the life we currently have and enjoy every season of life. Time is precious and we must make an effort to relish every minute of it. As a women, I influence the lives of others like my husband, children, family, friends, and community. I must learn to love my actual life so that I may help others love theirs.  The Bible says it like this in the book of James … 14 whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. -James 4:14 NKJV

Our lives are like vapor, here for  a little while and then it vanishes. Therefore, you and I should learn to embrace T O D A Y because tomorrow is not promise. Here are some tips to help you start loving your actual life ::

  1. Slow down and pay attention: Life can be too hectic and too hurried, learn to be present in every moment without thinking ahead or behind. Live every moment and enjoy the little things.
  2. Focus on what motivates you: Our minds are a powerful force, we must fill it with positivity and sparkle. Do more of what makes you happy, discover new hobbies, learn new things, create often, the possibilities are endless.
  3. Prepare your life, be intentional: Take the time to plan, start building the life you want. Intentionality opens up your life for better relationships, opportunities, and contentment.
  4. Have the occasional Social Media detox: Although, social media is a m a z i n g! It can leave a false sense of reality. Social Media does not give you someones complete life, it only highlights the best. Winning at the social media game means you need to learn to knock the habit of virtual noise. Detox doesn’t have to be extreme but it has to be intentional.

Dear friends my hope is that you will take these tips to help you love your current life. Waiting for happiness or expecting life to be different can leave you emotionally empty, focus on loving your life as is and enjoy every minute of it. Live life blissfully!!!

Let me know in the comments if you commit to using these tips for a life that you love.





Establish Your Heart.

You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.

James 5:8


Hello Friends, I know that for the last few months I haven’t blogged or filmed or done much to stay afloat of social media. Not that it is necessary but let’s face it we live in a society where social media is a way of life. As I try to do life and guide my children both at home, school, church, and simply life I constantly battle with the notion that I’m not enough for these little minds!

During my time with the Lord I constantly remind Him (naive, I know) of my struggles as a mother… the monsters I deal with as I try to prepare my children for life and the lies that I constantly believe because of it. It is hard for me to believe that I am all that my children need to succeed at life. I feel inadequate every time I compare myself with other moms. And so, there lies the root of the problem “comparing myself to others.”

Aah, Dear friend I repeatedly stumble with the same stone,”the comparison stone.” I tend to believe the lies that come to my mind about my inadequacy as a mom. Lies that can sink in so deep in my heart that I start believing them, but as I bring it to God, He reminds me of His perfect plan for my life. God tells me that I am His chosen one to raise His children, His chosen one to love His son as my husband. And reminds me of His perfection through my weaknesses. And with no hesitation my heart rejoices knowing that it is not my doing but His loving and amazing Grace, which brings forth a different perspective of life.

Beloved friend if you struggle with those feeling of inadequacy when it comes to your children, your husband, or your home. Don’t beat yourself up, look up to the heavens and call on the name of Jesus, for it is He, who makes our efforts perfect and exalts us in the eyes of our own. Humbly, know that the Lord’s kingdom is at hand and He’s perfect plan is always on the table! As the book of James mentions in 5:7-12 Be patient just as the farmers are patient waiting season after season for the upcoming harvest. You my dear friend ought to be patient and Establish you heart for the coming of the Lord is near.

James is encouraging us to await patiently as we work our faith… establishing our hearts knowing that God’s plan is at work. We must take courage during the seasons of life. Set those little hearts in motion establish their hearts to share the love of God through forgiveness, compassion, grace, and nonjudgemental love. Passionately pursuit and lovingly guide your children with grace and truth which is in Christ Jesus! He will equip you to raise His children, to respect your husband, and to maintain your home.

Any thoughts of inadequacy when it comes to raising your children?! Share with us and keep the conversation going…


Perfectionism Rule it Out.


If you’ve followed me for a while you know that for the past couple of years I written my blog, film a few YouTube videos, and desperately posted too many social media posts. The journey is amazing, but I must say I still struggle with my need for perfection.

This morning I heard a Scope from Michael Hyatt, a well known author  who mentions that we should not allow “Perfectionism” to rule the game. His statement resonates with me, since in my earlier attempts to publish my blog I was a total victim to perfectionism. Its a state of mind that will not allow you to venture out into the mediocre side.

However, dear friends I believe that we should allow ourselves to “JUST START” taking the plunge into our endeavors. Even if our work “ISN’T PERFECT”. We must permit our mediocre side to be put out there in the world, it should be a reminder of humble beginnings. It gives you a timeline of where you started and what you’ve accomplished.

The Expert in anything was once a beginner… – Helen Hayes

Don’t be afraid to take the first step, if you’re ever going to call yourself an expert on anything you will need to start now. Humble beginnings are amazing thus a bit embarrassing, beginnings give you an inside look at your courage to start. Today, I want to encourage you to put yourself out there even if is a little scary… You will only get stronger, savvier, & courageous!

What step is hard for you to take… share with me in the comments or in the Facebook page! Let’s keep the conversation going…

Holiday Bliss!

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;  – Ecclesiastes 3:1-2

Aaaawww, the holidays a time to cherish, enjoy, delight, and have complete bliss!!! Right?!

Maybe for some of us, but for others this time of year can be very stressful. Getting ready for the holidays brings more anxiety than blissfulness. But it doesn’t have to be this way, during this holiday season I encourage you to keep your focus on the journey of the holiday season rather, than the stress of the season.

Making sure that  your home is ready to receive guest such as friends and family can be stressful. But remember that it is a blessing that you get to enjoy the holidays with your family. Have joy when you need to change all the sheets. As for me, I may be putting some family members out of their comfy beds in order to invite other members to rest. It is an amazing opportunity, a great lesson, to teach our children that sharing is caring!

I know that this season can get a bit heck it and crazy. But the memories we are making and relationships we’re building will last longer than the bedspread you will buy. Make the journey full of laughter and let’s be grateful as we celebrate life during this season. Let not bitterness fill your heart but rather thankfulness because you’re still able to enjoy the holidays with loved ones. We must remember that one day we won’t have that privilege.

Love should be our focus this season, not a perfect home, but rather a perfectly imperfect season. The holidays are an excuse to enjoy ourselves without been hurried, stress, or pretend that we all have it under control. Don’t take yourself too seriously when you loose it, embrace the moment. You will laugh about it in a few years I promised. Have a wonderful Holiday season, celebrate life with love, laughter, and grace!

Simply Barbara!!!


Share with me any tips about how you ease the Holiday season in your home?!

Redefining Life. 9 ways to find your purpose in life.

Isn’t true that the older we get the greater the need is for us to redefine our life?  If you feel as though it is too late to redefine your path in life this post gives you a start in creating a life that you want.

Today, more than ever, there are so many distractions competing for our attention, it makes it hard to define our true self. It’s so easy to get lost in life, the world is getting noisier by the minute, everything seems to draw your mind and your heart farther from your true self. In order to find your purpose in life you must look at the One who gave you life, God. He created you to have an abundant life and to live it to the fullest.

For this reason, understanding your purpose means you must seek God, and lay a foundation in Christ. The   transformative habits mentioned here can give you a new meaning for life. We are not meant to merely survive life, but rather to have a proactive role in our own life. If you want to find meaning and purpose in life stick to this habits and you will start seeing clearly what your life purpose is. Often times we arrive to conclusions in life that make us stressed, confused, or lost. But redefining life doesn’t have to be extreme or difficult. It’s about knowing who you are and designing the life you want.

Here are 9 habits that will help you redefine your life.

  1. Serve others or in modern language volunteer to help those less fortunate this will give you a perspective of where you are and where you want to be.
  2. Embrace you emotions knowing and understanding your emotions will help you stay grounded you must know pain to feel sympathy, happiness to laugh, and sorrow to cry.
  3. To experience the fullness of an abundant life you must know how to count your blessings remember there is someone out there who is in far worst circumstances than those you face today.
  4. Cherish you loved ones you must tell them you appreciate them. Life is short, let those you love know how much they mean to you.
  5. Exercise grace rather than judgement we must accept people’s flaws because no one is perfect, everyone has a story and before you judge learn to accept their differences don’t waste time with negativity.
  6. Take care of your body by doing exercise, and eating well.
  7. Making list helps you organize and stay focus in your goals and dreams.
  8. Find an outlet, give yourself ample opportunity to express yourself and blow out any steam that builds up in a healthy way.
  9. Lastly, follow your dreams be realistic with your goals and abilities live with your heart grounded in Jesus Christ and your head following His laws.

Life is short, don’t waste your time running around in circles “the world awaits your adventures.” 

Share with me the best ways you redefine your Life?

Faith, Fé, Dios, psalm, salmo

5 razones para dominar tu Lengua.

Hola Amigos hoy quiero animarlos a que dominen su lengua. Es decir, la palabra de Dios dice en Santiago 3:1-12  “si pudiéramos dominar la lengua, seriamos perfectos, capaces de controlarnos en todo sentido”.

Cada vez que camino por la calle o el pasillo de alguna tienda me doy cuenta como la gente se habla los unos al los otros.  Donde pongo mas atención es cuando los Papas se comunican con sus hijos.  Como Mama siempre trato de ser intencional con las actividades de mis hijos. Claro no soy perfecta y tengo mas defectos que días victoriosos.

Pero si quiero exhortarte hoy a que seamos intencionales en dominar nuestra lengua especialmente cuando se trata de nuestros hijos.  Como humanos aprendemos de varias maneras por lo que vemos, tocamos, olemos, sentimos, y escuchamos. Si aprendemos por lo que escuchamos entonces nuestros hijos crecen creyéndose lo que escuchan también.

Por este motivo es importante tener cuidado con lo que le comunicamos a nuestros hijos porque lo que escuchen de nosotros los va a condicionar para ser los seres humanos del futuro. El escuchar es poderoso no le digas a tus hijos que son tontos, o que no son buenos para nada, o que nunca van a ser algo en la vida, o que son unos imbeciles, o peor idiotas.

No te sientas mal yo soy culpable de expresarme de esa manera hacia mis hijos no por intención usualmente es porque estoy enojada, o irritada, o cansada. Es por eso que he prometido cambiar mi perspectiva y ser intencional en la manera en que le hablo a mis hijos. No puedo dejar que mi ira o enojo tenga victoria sobre mi. Te invito a que HOY hagas un pacto contigo misma para ser intencional y hablar con palabras de amor y respeto hacia tus hijos.

Aqui tienes 5 razones para dominar tu Lengua

1) Tus hijos se lo merecen

2) Amas a tus hijos

3) Lo que escuchan tus hijos se convierte en su identidad

4) Reconoce las oportunidades para enseñar, corregir, y entrenar a tus hijos

5) Tus hijos merecen ser amados y respetados por ti y los demás

La quinta razón es poderosa porque nosotros los padres somos responsables de enseñarles a nuestros hijos cual es el amor saludable y que es el respeto hacia ellos mismos y hacia los demás.  Los padres tenemos la responsabilidad de influenciar a nuestros hijos con amor y respeto para poder moldear su carácter y valores. Nuestros hijos necesitan ser amados he influenciados de una manera saludable y no destructiva.

Papas si es posible navegar la tarea de ser padres en este viaje llamado vida, solo tenemos que aplicar algunas disciplinas que den prioridad a Dios nuestro Señor. Establece valores que dirijan a tus hijos a seleccionar una vida espiritual llena de Dios y sus principios.

Estos son mis últimos pensamientos asegura que tus palabras hablen vida y no muerte, que causen a tus hijos tener confianza en sí mismos, y no inseguridades.  Que lo que les digas a tus hijos no imponga miedo, sino amor y corrección.

Gracias por tomar unos minutos para leer, comparte mi pagina, y coméntame de que manera corriges a tus hijos?